Friday, August 31, 2007

9/2 Assignment

Taking a cue from the Saturn Vue commercials lets rethink American. Bigger is not always best. This assignment will be short and sweet.



Compose Four individual Haiku, one for each season of the year.



And as a refresher:



Haiku is a poetic form from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language into a meaningful, compact form. Popular themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually composed of simple words and grammar. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables. Haiku doesn't rhyme. A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in ONLY 17 syllables over just three (3) lines of poetry!


Example:

Winter:


A Bleak landscape barren

until a blanket of white

snowflakes fall silently

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Pas Most Faux

Every now and then something happens in life that, if you were thinking rationally, you would realize has happened to a lot of people. But in the heat of the moment, you aren’t thinking rationally, and at that moment, you feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

Walking into the wrong bathroom is one of those times.

Now, what makes this story worse is that I wasn’t even looking for a bathroom! No, I was ever so innocently trying to get to class. A class that, due to some evil conspiracy on the part of the building designers, was right next to the men’s bathroom. I mean, what’s up with that?

Granted, I could have been more careful. I do tend to walk around with my head in the clouds a lot, not really paying much attention to where I’m going. And I wasn’t entirely used to attending class in this particular building. But I could have sworn that I had counted the number of doors properly, and without checking to see if there was an actual, ya know, room number above the door, I just blithely pushed my way inside.

One step was all it took to realize that I had made some sort of mistake. I looked around, and froze. Why, this was not a classroom! I can be quite brilliant, you know. It took only a split second to figure that one out. Sharp as a tack, I am.

Now, this would have been a good time to bolt out of there, but no. I stood transfixed. It’s not that I had never been in a men’s bathroom, before. My brother had taken me into one in a restaurant when I was a kid, after making sure it was empty, to show off some fancy schmancy decorating that had been done in there. I’d been behind enemy lines before, damnit! I was no raw recruit! No, I was glued to the floor because my mind just couldn’t accept the fact that I had not walked into a classroom.

That’s when it happened, that point of no return. I’d been spotted! There was some guy, and he looked at me! Gasp! I dropped my eyes to the floor. That’s what you’re supposed to do, you know. If you don’t make eye contact, they can’t see you. It’s scientific fact. I’m sure of it.

That small movement galvanized me into action. Stammering some unintelligible apology, I backed out of the bathroom, and hurried to class, where I found a seat and sat in utter mortification.

Needless to say, the rest of that semester was spent compulsively checking and rechecking room numbers before walking through any doors. I never made that mistake again.

*knocks on wood*

Monday, August 27, 2007

Assignment 8/26 - 9/1 "Women vs The Public Restroom" - Kal

For this weeks assignment-I'm giving it to you this way since I only have reading power right now.

Women vs. The Public Restroom

I received an email (along with half of the english reading world) about the woes and throws of the public restroom. The misery this poor woman went through to "go" was just unbearable. By the time I got to the end of the story I was so angry with the previous user of the stall that I was ready to start a witch hunt! The seat was wet, there was no toilet paper, the floor was wet so she couldn't sit her purse down, and all of this happened after she waited in line until she was about to explode.

Honestly! Do we need to take this kind of crap in this day and age?! Why are we so shy about the men's restroom? Don't you think they would start waiting in line for the stall if there was a woman at the sink when they entered to use the urinal? You know there wouldn't be a line at the sink because they never use it. Ladies, if you want your time at the mirror-go to the men's restroom!

Well, I had a few thoughts about that poor woman: first why didn't she wipe the seat before she ever did anything else? Then she would have known that there was no toilet paper. And the seat would have been clean enough to sit instead of "assuming the [squatting] position." I don't understand how we can continue to teach our little girls that the toilet seat is filthy yet we allow them to touch grocery carts and everything in the store, including pocket change. After they handle everything in sight they pick their nose, rub their eyes, taste test samples, and open and eat their candy without a thought for all the filth they have contacted. Everyone is afraid of the toilet seat, yet we never lick our butts! I THINK THE TOILET SEAT IS SAFER!

Okay, here's my real fear of public restrooms: Once I was priveleged to have the blessed experience of creating a toilet paper tail. Unfortunately I was not in my own home, I was in a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Texas. A neighborly woman with her southern hospitality approached me and announced it to the whole restaurant. Thank goodness there were only two people in the place. The bad thing was there was a freak snowstorm and the only road through town was closed. I had to find a place to stay and there were no hotels. I stayed with one of those people and my tail was frequently a topic of discussion and laughter. I hate that place!

You do not have to tell your own experience, but the assignment is to tell of any memorable public restroom experience.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Kal's Eavesdropping

******* I am posting this for Kal because she informed me that her posting rights expired. I didn't know that could happen. I changed everyone to admin to hopefully stave off future expirations. If you find you are having trouble posting, please email me and I'll see what we can do. She should be back to posting her own soon. I will be posting her new assignment next. *******


I have read for the entertainment but have not contributed to the Scribbler's Nest. But I am working in ER Triage this week and I need some entertainment to keep me awake. I did not see anyone lick their phone, but I got caught eavesdropping. I tried to fake like I was not eavesdropping but it becomes so obvious when you repeat the same stupid task multiple times. One thing that got my attention was not the topic but the retelling of a story using "he said,..., and then he said,..., so I said,..., and so he said,....."

SAID is the topic of my eavesdropping trauma. I can't even tell you what they were talking about. I only remember listening and interjecting options for the word "said" in my mind. Then I started keeping "said" scores, and even predicting when "said" would be used next. I guess my eavesdropping lesson is two-fold: Don't use the word "said" too often or people will listen to your conversation for their sad "said" addictions. The second lesson about eavesdropping was the happy realization that if I don't want an eavesdropper to remember what has been said, all I have to do is bore them with redundancy and they will find a new entertainment.

By the way here are some suggestions for "said" subsitiutions:

accused clucked gulped pointed out snapped
acknowledged coaxed gurgled pondered snarled
added commanded praised sneered
addressed commented hinted prayed sneezed
admitted complained hissed proclaimed snickered
advised conceded hollered promised sniffed
affirmed concluded hypothesized proposed sniffled
agreed confessed protested snorted
announced confided imitated put in sobbed
answered congratulated implied puzzled speculated
approved continued informed spoke
argued convinced inquired quavered sputtered
asked corrected insisted queried squeaked
asserted coughed interjected questioned stammered
assured cried interrupted quipped started
avowed croaked quoted stated
crowed jeered stormed
babbled jested ranted stuttered
barked dared joked reasoned suggested
bawled decided reassured surmised
beamed declared laughed recalled
began demanded lied reckoned taunted
begged denied lisped related teased
bellowed described remarked tempted
bet disagreed maintained remembered tested
bleated disclosed marveled reminded theorized
blurted divulged mentioned repeated threatened
boasted doubted mimicked replied told
boomed drawled moaned reported
bragged mumbled requested urged
broke in echoed murmured responded uttered
bubbled ended mused retorted volunteered
bugged exclaimed muttered revealed vowed
explained roared
called finished nagged wailed
cautioned fretted nodded sang warned
chatted noted sassed went on
chattered gasped objected screamed wept
cheered gibed observed scolded whimpered
chided giggled offered shot whined
chimed in greeted ordered shouted whispered
choked groaned shrieked wondered
chortled growled panted shrilled worried
chorused grunted piped sighed
chuckled grumbled pleaded smiled yawned
claimed guessed pled smirked yakked


That said...I'm signing off.

Kalleen

Eavesdropping

So yeah, this is really late, the week it was meant to be posted, I heard one amusing thing, so thought if I waited longer, I'd hear something else, but that hasn't been the case so I must really be lame at eavesdropping, so I'll just put the one thing I did hear.

"I think if I was a serial killer, I'd want my name to be The Daylight Savings Time Killer."

to which the response was,

"You'd have to just kill twice a year, and make sure to set your victims watch back or forward depending on the time."

I'll admit that I said one of those lines, but it'll be more fun to figure out which one it was.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Assignment 8/19 - 25: "Hold on. I gotta lick my phone."

Well, folks, I think the title says it all...



No? Alright, I'll explain.

This weeks assignment, should you choose to accept it, is all about eavesdropping! I want you to keep those ears open, and jot down all the strange, amusing, interesting, or cool sounding things you hear. Why? Well, for several reasons, really. One, it helps with dialogue. Dialogue can be a tricky thing to write. The more you really concentrate on listening to the way people talk, the better your writing of dialogue becomes. Second, entire stories have been based on bits and pieces of overheard conversations. Wanting to fill in the blanks is a great way to get those creative juices flowing. Heck, you can even write down things you say, if you're inspired to do so. The point is, if you hear something that makes you think you can create a story about it, or write a conversation between two characters around it, then write it down.

And yes, the quote in the title is a real one, and was the inspiration for this assignment. ;-)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Heroes, Heroes Everywhere...But Not a Villain in Sight?

Young Fenton Marlow looked his father straight in the eye, and lied.

“A fox?”

Fenton gave an earnest nod. “A desert fox. I saw it sniffing around your artifacts, right over there. It grabbed it in its mouth and ran!”

The object in question was an electrum amulet, fashioned in the image of the mummy from whom it was taken. Etched over its heart was the hieroglyph of the Ba, believed to be the personality of the deceased, free to roam incorporeal during the day, but destined to return to its host at night.

“Fen,” his father began, in a tired, disappointed tone, and Fenton gave him a wide-eyed, hurt look.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I…don’t want to fight on your last day here,” his father relented. “If a fox took it, then so be it. If something else happened to it, I’m sure it will turn up before tomorrow morning,” he said pointedly.

“Can’t I stay with you?” Fenton asked. “You’re just now getting to the interesting stuff,” he said, motioning off towards the excavation site. Indeed, it had only been during the last few days that the burial chamber where the amulet had been uncovered had been breached. It was said to belong to a sorcerer, whose powers had helped the tomb’s Pharaoh gain great power and wealth. There had been a great deal of excitement over the initial discovery of the tomb, untouched as it was by archeologists and tomb raiders for so long. But it had proven to be rather disappointing, until they had found the sorcerer. General talk around camp suggested that the Pharaoh himself could not be far behind.

“You know you can’t. You have school in a week.”

Fenton sighed. “Fine.” Turning, he stalked off towards their tent. Behind him, he heard his father say again how nice it would be if the misplaced amulet were to resurface. He rolled his eyes. He knew it wouldn’t be. Once in the solitude of the tent, he pulled the amulet out of his pocket. It’s amber sheen seemed almost untouched by the millenniums. It couldn’t hurt to keep it, he reasoned with himself. His father’s team was sure to unearth piles of interesting artifacts from the tomb. One wouldn’t make much difference one way or another. And it would be something to remind him of this trip, and his father, while he was away at school. He tucked it carefully away in his bag for safekeeping.

The rest of the day passed quickly, and they were up bright and early the next morning. His father drove him to the Cairo International Airport, where he boarded a plane headed back to the States, and to his first year at Carvington Prep. Not a word had been spoken about the missing amulet.

A few weeks passed uneventfully as he settled into his new home. He kept the amulet safely hidden away, never wearing it, never showing it off. He did not want to risk one of the other boys stealing it.

Then news came of a freak cave-in at the tomb, and his father lost. The evening after the funeral, he took the amulet out of its hiding place, staring at it for a long time, before putting it on. He examined himself in the mirror as the amulet settled around his neck, and for a moment, it seemed as if his image shimmered. That night, he had dreams that made all his others pale in comparison. They were filled with images of himself, gaining power, influence, and money. What he could not earn, he took. It was all the same to him. In the morning, he awoke, exhausted, but feeling himself once more.

As time passed, those dreams fostered his growing ambition. He would make them a reality. He deserved to make them a reality. It was his fate. And the amulet was happy to oblige. He discovered that his words, especially after the sun had gone down, carried great weight with people. A few well worded suggestions on his part, and most people would do almost anything he asked of them. Stranger still was what happened when he went to collect money another student owed him. He had pounded on the door, and received no answer. He tried the handle, and found it locked. Impatiently, he wished he could get into the room, and suddenly he felt himself shift, almost melt away. It was disorienting, though not painful. He felt the oddest sensation of sliding under the closed door, and then he was shifting again, becoming himself once more. He scurried backwards, away from the door, before realizing that he was not in the hallway, but the room. Grabbing his money, he willed himself back to the hallway. He felt the strange shifting again, and found himself back in the hall. He smirked. That could come in useful.

Over the next few years, he honed his abilities. He gained greater control over his hypnotic powers, and his shape shifting. He graduated Valedictorian, an honor that he almost but did not quite earn, and was admitted into an Ivy League school, where he took a double major in business and political science.

His first big-time crime came during his sophomore year at the university. The local museum had bought a collection of artifacts that had come from the tomb that claimed his father’s life. The night before the exhibit was to open, Fenton made his move. Using his abilities to get into the museum, he took only one item. The Pharaoh’s scepter. As he was leaving, something caught his eye. Chuckling to himself, he took the object, and placed it where the scepter had lain, as a calling card.

BIZARRE MUSEUM HEIST HAS AUTHORITIES BAFFLED: claimed the local newspaper the next day. The media had a field day with the story, and had named the thief after the small carving he had left behind.

The Fennec Fox.