9/2 Assignment

Taking a cue from the Saturn Vue commercials lets rethink American. Bigger is not always best. This assignment will be short and sweet.



Compose Four individual Haiku, one for each season of the year.



And as a refresher:



Haiku is a poetic form from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language into a meaningful, compact form. Popular themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually composed of simple words and grammar. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables. Haiku doesn't rhyme. A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in ONLY 17 syllables over just three (3) lines of poetry!

Example:

Winter:

A Bleak landscape barren

until a blanket of white

snowflakes fall silently

A Pas Most Faux

Every now and then something happens in life that, if you were thinking rationally, you would realize has happened to a lot of people. But in the heat of the moment, you aren’t thinking rationally, and at that moment, you feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

Walking into the wrong bathroom is one of those times.

Now, what makes this story worse is that I wasn’t even looking for a bathroom! No, I was ever so innocently trying to get to class. A class that, due to some evil conspiracy on the part of the building designers, was right next to the men’s bathroom. I mean, what’s up with that?

Granted, I could have been more careful. I do tend to walk around with my head in the clouds a lot, not really paying much attention to where I’m going. And I wasn’t entirely used to attending class in this particular building. But I could have sworn that I had counted the number of doors properly, and without checking to see if there was an actual, ya know, room number above the door, I just blithely pushed my way inside.

One step was all it took to realize that I had made some sort of mistake. I looked around, and froze. Why, this was not a classroom! I can be quite brilliant, you know. It took only a split second to figure that one out. Sharp as a tack, I am.

Now, this would have been a good time to bolt out of there, but no. I stood transfixed. It’s not that I had never been in a men’s bathroom, before. My brother had taken me into one in a restaurant when I was a kid, after making sure it was empty, to show off some fancy schmancy decorating that had been done in there. I’d been behind enemy lines before, damnit! I was no raw recruit! No, I was glued to the floor because my mind just couldn’t accept the fact that I had not walked into a classroom.

That’s when it happened, that point of no return. I’d been spotted! There was some guy, and he looked at me! Gasp! I dropped my eyes to the floor. That’s what you’re supposed to do, you know. If you don’t make eye contact, they can’t see you. It’s scientific fact. I’m sure of it.

That small movement galvanized me into action. Stammering some unintelligible apology, I backed out of the bathroom, and hurried to class, where I found a seat and sat in utter mortification.

Needless to say, the rest of that semester was spent compulsively checking and rechecking room numbers before walking through any doors. I never made that mistake again.

*knocks on wood*

Assignment 8/26 - 9/1 "Women vs The Public Restroom" - Kal

For this weeks assignment-I'm giving it to you this way since I only have reading power right now.

Women vs. The Public Restroom

I received an email (along with half of the english reading world) about the woes and throws of the public restroom. The misery this poor woman went through to "go" was just unbearable. By the time I got to the end of the story I was so angry with the previous user of the stall that I was ready to start a witch hunt! The seat was wet, there was no toilet paper, the floor was wet so she couldn't sit her purse down, and all of this happened after she waited in line until she was about to explode.

Honestly! Do we need to take this kind of crap in this day and age?! Why are we so shy about the men's restroom? Don't you think they would start waiting in line for the stall if there was a woman at the sink when they entered to use the urinal? You know there wouldn't be a line at the sink because they never use it. Ladies, if you want your time at the mirror-go to the men's restroom!

Well, I had a few thoughts about that poor woman: first why didn't she wipe the seat before she ever did anything else? Then she would have known that there was no toilet paper. And the seat would have been clean enough to sit instead of "assuming the [squatting] position." I don't understand how we can continue to teach our little girls that the toilet seat is filthy yet we allow them to touch grocery carts and everything in the store, including pocket change. After they handle everything in sight they pick their nose, rub their eyes, taste test samples, and open and eat their candy without a thought for all the filth they have contacted. Everyone is afraid of the toilet seat, yet we never lick our butts! I THINK THE TOILET SEAT IS SAFER!

Okay, here's my real fear of public restrooms: Once I was priveleged to have the blessed experience of creating a toilet paper tail. Unfortunately I was not in my own home, I was in a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Texas. A neighborly woman with her southern hospitality approached me and announced it to the whole restaurant. Thank goodness there were only two people in the place. The bad thing was there was a freak snowstorm and the only road through town was closed. I had to find a place to stay and there were no hotels. I stayed with one of those people and my tail was frequently a topic of discussion and laughter. I hate that place!

You do not have to tell your own experience, but the assignment is to tell of any memorable public restroom experience.

Kal's Eavesdropping

******* I am posting this for Kal because she informed me that her posting rights expired. I didn't know that could happen. I changed everyone to admin to hopefully stave off future expirations. If you find you are having trouble posting, please email me and I'll see what we can do. She should be back to posting her own soon. I will be posting her new assignment next. *******


I have read for the entertainment but have not contributed to the Scribbler's Nest. But I am working in ER Triage this week and I need some entertainment to keep me awake. I did not see anyone lick their phone, but I got caught eavesdropping. I tried to fake like I was not eavesdropping but it becomes so obvious when you repeat the same stupid task multiple times. One thing that got my attention was not the topic but the retelling of a story using "he said,..., and then he said,..., so I said,..., and so he said,....."

SAID is the topic of my eavesdropping trauma. I can't even tell you what they were talking about. I only remember listening and interjecting options for the word "said" in my mind. Then I started keeping "said" scores, and even predicting when "said" would be used next. I guess my eavesdropping lesson is two-fold: Don't use the word "said" too often or people will listen to your conversation for their sad "said" addictions. The second lesson about eavesdropping was the happy realization that if I don't want an eavesdropper to remember what has been said, all I have to do is bore them with redundancy and they will find a new entertainment.

By the way here are some suggestions for "said" subsitiutions:

accused clucked gulped pointed out snapped
acknowledged coaxed gurgled pondered snarled
added commanded praised sneered
addressed commented hinted prayed sneezed
admitted complained hissed proclaimed snickered
advised conceded hollered promised sniffed
affirmed concluded hypothesized proposed sniffled
agreed confessed protested snorted
announced confided imitated put in sobbed
answered congratulated implied puzzled speculated
approved continued informed spoke
argued convinced inquired quavered sputtered
asked corrected insisted queried squeaked
asserted coughed interjected questioned stammered
assured cried interrupted quipped started
avowed croaked quoted stated
crowed jeered stormed
babbled jested ranted stuttered
barked dared joked reasoned suggested
bawled decided reassured surmised
beamed declared laughed recalled
began demanded lied reckoned taunted
begged denied lisped related teased
bellowed described remarked tempted
bet disagreed maintained remembered tested
bleated disclosed marveled reminded theorized
blurted divulged mentioned repeated threatened
boasted doubted mimicked replied told
boomed drawled moaned reported
bragged mumbled requested urged
broke in echoed murmured responded uttered
bubbled ended mused retorted volunteered
bugged exclaimed muttered revealed vowed
explained roared
called finished nagged wailed
cautioned fretted nodded sang warned
chatted noted sassed went on
chattered gasped objected screamed wept
cheered gibed observed scolded whimpered
chided giggled offered shot whined
chimed in greeted ordered shouted whispered
choked groaned shrieked wondered
chortled growled panted shrilled worried
chorused grunted piped sighed
chuckled grumbled pleaded smiled yawned
claimed guessed pled smirked yakked


That said...I'm signing off.

Kalleen

Eavesdropping

So yeah, this is really late, the week it was meant to be posted, I heard one amusing thing, so thought if I waited longer, I'd hear something else, but that hasn't been the case so I must really be lame at eavesdropping, so I'll just put the one thing I did hear.

"I think if I was a serial killer, I'd want my name to be The Daylight Savings Time Killer."

to which the response was,

"You'd have to just kill twice a year, and make sure to set your victims watch back or forward depending on the time."

I'll admit that I said one of those lines, but it'll be more fun to figure out which one it was.

Assignment 8/19 - 25: "Hold on. I gotta lick my phone."

Well, folks, I think the title says it all...



No? Alright, I'll explain.

This weeks assignment, should you choose to accept it, is all about eavesdropping! I want you to keep those ears open, and jot down all the strange, amusing, interesting, or cool sounding things you hear. Why? Well, for several reasons, really. One, it helps with dialogue. Dialogue can be a tricky thing to write. The more you really concentrate on listening to the way people talk, the better your writing of dialogue becomes. Second, entire stories have been based on bits and pieces of overheard conversations. Wanting to fill in the blanks is a great way to get those creative juices flowing. Heck, you can even write down things you say, if you're inspired to do so. The point is, if you hear something that makes you think you can create a story about it, or write a conversation between two characters around it, then write it down.

And yes, the quote in the title is a real one, and was the inspiration for this assignment. ;-)

Heroes, Heroes Everywhere...But Not a Villain in Sight?

Young Fenton Marlow looked his father straight in the eye, and lied.

“A fox?”

Fenton gave an earnest nod. “A desert fox. I saw it sniffing around your artifacts, right over there. It grabbed it in its mouth and ran!”

The object in question was an electrum amulet, fashioned in the image of the mummy from whom it was taken. Etched over its heart was the hieroglyph of the Ba, believed to be the personality of the deceased, free to roam incorporeal during the day, but destined to return to its host at night.

“Fen,” his father began, in a tired, disappointed tone, and Fenton gave him a wide-eyed, hurt look.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I…don’t want to fight on your last day here,” his father relented. “If a fox took it, then so be it. If something else happened to it, I’m sure it will turn up before tomorrow morning,” he said pointedly.

“Can’t I stay with you?” Fenton asked. “You’re just now getting to the interesting stuff,” he said, motioning off towards the excavation site. Indeed, it had only been during the last few days that the burial chamber where the amulet had been uncovered had been breached. It was said to belong to a sorcerer, whose powers had helped the tomb’s Pharaoh gain great power and wealth. There had been a great deal of excitement over the initial discovery of the tomb, untouched as it was by archeologists and tomb raiders for so long. But it had proven to be rather disappointing, until they had found the sorcerer. General talk around camp suggested that the Pharaoh himself could not be far behind.

“You know you can’t. You have school in a week.”

Fenton sighed. “Fine.” Turning, he stalked off towards their tent. Behind him, he heard his father say again how nice it would be if the misplaced amulet were to resurface. He rolled his eyes. He knew it wouldn’t be. Once in the solitude of the tent, he pulled the amulet out of his pocket. It’s amber sheen seemed almost untouched by the millenniums. It couldn’t hurt to keep it, he reasoned with himself. His father’s team was sure to unearth piles of interesting artifacts from the tomb. One wouldn’t make much difference one way or another. And it would be something to remind him of this trip, and his father, while he was away at school. He tucked it carefully away in his bag for safekeeping.

The rest of the day passed quickly, and they were up bright and early the next morning. His father drove him to the Cairo International Airport, where he boarded a plane headed back to the States, and to his first year at Carvington Prep. Not a word had been spoken about the missing amulet.

A few weeks passed uneventfully as he settled into his new home. He kept the amulet safely hidden away, never wearing it, never showing it off. He did not want to risk one of the other boys stealing it.

Then news came of a freak cave-in at the tomb, and his father lost. The evening after the funeral, he took the amulet out of its hiding place, staring at it for a long time, before putting it on. He examined himself in the mirror as the amulet settled around his neck, and for a moment, it seemed as if his image shimmered. That night, he had dreams that made all his others pale in comparison. They were filled with images of himself, gaining power, influence, and money. What he could not earn, he took. It was all the same to him. In the morning, he awoke, exhausted, but feeling himself once more.

As time passed, those dreams fostered his growing ambition. He would make them a reality. He deserved to make them a reality. It was his fate. And the amulet was happy to oblige. He discovered that his words, especially after the sun had gone down, carried great weight with people. A few well worded suggestions on his part, and most people would do almost anything he asked of them. Stranger still was what happened when he went to collect money another student owed him. He had pounded on the door, and received no answer. He tried the handle, and found it locked. Impatiently, he wished he could get into the room, and suddenly he felt himself shift, almost melt away. It was disorienting, though not painful. He felt the oddest sensation of sliding under the closed door, and then he was shifting again, becoming himself once more. He scurried backwards, away from the door, before realizing that he was not in the hallway, but the room. Grabbing his money, he willed himself back to the hallway. He felt the strange shifting again, and found himself back in the hall. He smirked. That could come in useful.

Over the next few years, he honed his abilities. He gained greater control over his hypnotic powers, and his shape shifting. He graduated Valedictorian, an honor that he almost but did not quite earn, and was admitted into an Ivy League school, where he took a double major in business and political science.

His first big-time crime came during his sophomore year at the university. The local museum had bought a collection of artifacts that had come from the tomb that claimed his father’s life. The night before the exhibit was to open, Fenton made his move. Using his abilities to get into the museum, he took only one item. The Pharaoh’s scepter. As he was leaving, something caught his eye. Chuckling to himself, he took the object, and placed it where the scepter had lain, as a calling card.

BIZARRE MUSEUM HEIST HAS AUTHORITIES BAFFLED: claimed the local newspaper the next day. The media had a field day with the story, and had named the thief after the small carving he had left behind.

The Fennec Fox.

Super Hero

Real Name: Jennifer Seabrooke

Origin:
While swimming in the lake one night, a boat from the government testing facility went by dumping their barrels of waste in the lake, as they had been doing for years , not seeing her. Jennifer, hearing the splash from the boat and wanting to see what was dumped, swam over after the boat had passed and dove down into the water to try and find out what had been thrown over, intending to report whatever she found to the police. Finally reaching the bottom she felt around and felt the unmistakable shape of a metal barrel, however since it was dark she couldn’t see that a rock had ripped a hole in the side of the bottom of it and didn’t realize that she was surrounded by whatever was inside the barrel, hearing a sound from above she began to swim back to the surface.

Jennifer was greeted by the sight of the same boat that had been there earlier, and once spotted she was pulled onto the boat. Looking at the group of people surrounding her, she informed them that she was going to report what they were doing, at that some of them drew guns while one informed her she wouldn’t get the chance. Suddenly scared, she wasn’t comforted as all the people around her began to scream as their skin began to tighten and crack to dust while a sphere of water steadily began to form in front of her, obviously freaking out she jumped back into the lake, the sphere following her until it hit the lake and joined the rest of the water.

A few months and more strange occurrences later, she found that she could now somehow manipulate water, either from a lake or by pulling it from the air or from anything containing water, which she guessed is what happened to those people, and form the water into a sphere and control it however she wishes. She’s on the run and keeping hidden due to the ongoing investigation of the deaths of the crew on the boat and now uses her power to fight whatever crime she may come across, but mostly stays by the water dealing with polluters however she deems necessary.

New Name: AquaJen

Super Heroes Unite!

Name: Morelle Castanea (Truth Justice)

Age: Mid 20s in appearance

Powers: Manipulation of anything earthy :) She can make the dirt move around someone in a sandstorm/wall/rockslide/etc. She can also cause grass/vines/trees/etc to move and grow to her will (to make things beautiful or to trap the bad guys). If she locks her gaze with someone they can't help but answer her questions truthfully. She has to ask the questions though, it doesn't cause people to just spill their guts at random.

History of Gaining her Powers: Her family moved to Death Valley when she was in high school. She started getting more and more ill and weak until finally she died... at least everyone thought she died. Her family had decided to move back to New Jersey (The Garden State), so they had her funeral and took her back with them to bury her in the family plot. Her coffin was made of pine, her family not having much money. They also had odd ideas on what was "traditional". They had it embossed and engraved with vines and flowers and all manner of green growy things because she had always loved them.

Once she was back in the furtile, moist soil where things can actually grow, she started to get stronger. It wasn't long before she woke up and found herself in her coffin. I would like to say she kept her cool and behaved as a seasoned Super Hero, but she wasn't one and so she didn't. She screamed herself hoarse and then panicked for a few hours. It finally sunk into her wild mind that she hadn't run out of air, and in fact didn't feel claustrophobic at all.

She did a few deep breathing exercises and calmed down. Feeling an odd affinity with the dirt around her, she started concentrating on it and willing it to move. Now before you laugh or roll your eyes, tell me what -you'd- do after finding yourself buried alive.

As you can probably imagine, the earth moved for her and pushed her coffin up so it was level with the ground. With a few powerful kicks she had the top opened and she climbed out. If she had needed any more proof that she was a superhero, she had only to look around the cemetary and see that no one had noticed her huge commotion. She thought for a moment about what she should do. Coming to a decision she waved at her coffin sadly, sending it back to its rightful place, 6 feet under.

She went home, but couldn't think of a way to break her resurrection to her family and so with even more sadness than to her coffin, she waved her family goodbye and set off toward her new life. She had no idea what awaited her, but walking deeper into a forest glade, she felt things would be okay.

What She's Up to Now: Wherever there is injustice, she is there... hehe seriously though, she likes to keep tabs on the goings on of the world and help out when she can. Otherwise, she amuses herself with tying litter bugs upside down and let them swing from the branches of trees for awhile... so they can think about what they've done. :P She's pretty awesome when she's in her element, but not as powerful in places like Death Valley.

Comic character assignment

The smell of old printers glue mingled with musty pages hung in the air as palpable as the strict silence which was enforced within the Library of the Abigail Proctor High School. With her black raven hair, and body of a dominatrix, the Librarian, Errin Alecto, seemed some sort of male fantasy, but few were brave enough to linger. Students withered under her looks, her eyes a frightening shade of electric red looked as if they were in a constant state of combustion. Her gaze could cut as if to the center of one's soul. No note or whisper went undetected, and her enjoyment of embarrassing students was no less mild than her fondness for punishing those who broke the laws of silence. Libraries are a place of reverence, for learning, and in her mind a place for collecting the lost loves, dreams, and intelligence of the dead.

While her reputation and image were undeniable, her sense of humor was just as quick. In a small town her self imposed isolation was kindling for conjecture, coupled with television lore, she was often called witch, but she relished those who had the courage or poor breeding to call her a bitch. The administration was shocked when she had asked for a cat to be allowed in the library, as much to perpetuate the image, as well as control the rodent population. Embarrassed, and not wanting to admit they were part of the local gossip; fearful themselves of retribution, whether real or imagined they consented. It was not as if Errin were young and unknown, but her arrival was forgotten, and few remained who remembered the fateful day when she had been left at the altar by her betrothed.

It was on that date when a spark of anger, kindled by false promises, that a fury was born. Outside the laws of good and evil, furies are elements of nature embodied with in a female form who punish rule breakers and criminals relentlessly.

Assignment 8/12-18 late

Sorry this is late, without seeing many posts for our last assignment I wasn't sure what to do, so I'm gonna go ahead and post this one and y'all can do this one after finishing the last one. ;)

I have to say I'm kind of a comic nerd, I read them, I see pretty much every movie that comes out based on a comic book and keep up on them, I say that because it's pretty much the reason for this weeks assignment.

So for this weeks assignment we're going to be creating another character, but this time we're making a superhero/villain, the choice is up to you if your person character is good or a bit more evil. I figure every good hero or villain needs a decent origin for why they are like they are, so I'm thinking a civilian name, name they use while in costume, what powers they have and how they got them, and why they decided to be a hero or a villain.

So there it is, hope you all have some fun with this one maybe. :)

HP Assignment: Jonas' Wild Ride

Ok, so I'll hope this works for the assignment, cause while writing it what I thought my original idea was kind of got away from me I think. Oh yeah, and it's kind of longer than I'd planned it to be too *blinks*





Looking out the window of the train, the young boy paid no attention to the person entering the compartment he'd had to himself thus far. "Do you mind if I sit in here?" the boy who just entered asked, getting a slight shrug and wave of the hand as a response before sitting down. "Thanks, I've been looking for someplace to sit for a while, my name is Manfred by the way, Manfred Nicholsworth." he said while extending his hand, which was ignored as the boy continued to look out the window while casually responding, "How nice for you." Manfred held his hand out for a moment more before pulling it back, "So do you have a name?" Without turning from the window the boy replied simply, "Jonas Jansson."



Manfred looked at the boy who was obviously from Sweden, what with all the sterotypical Swedish traits, he looked like he'd just stepped out of some sketch from a show doing a bit about Swedes, "So, while I was wandering through the cars I heard a rumor that Harry Potter is on the train." Jonas turned from the window for the first time and looked at him, "Oh? And I suppose that everyone is just so excited that he might be here?" Manfred nodded, "Well sure, if it weren't for him You Know Who might have never been defeated!" he said with a tone that made it seem he couldn't believe he had to state that fact. Jonas rolled his eyes slightly, "I can tell you're quite excited, I knew that I would have to put up with people like you, I just hoped it wouldn't be this early." Manfred looked at him with a look of confusion, thinking that he may have just been insulted, "What do you mean, people like me?" Jonas smirked at his expression, "People who believe that somehow a baby defeated Voldemort, what, did his parents give him a wand as soon as he was born?" he said, but at the mention of Voldemort, Manfred's eyes widened and he looked as if he may say something but simply fainted.



Jonas sat and waited for Manfred to wake up, which he did after a moment and promptly tried to run from the compartment, resulting in him bouncing off the closed door. "It's just a name, but I suppose I won't use it." Jonas said with a slight grin looking at Manfred scrambling on the floor. "You're one of those evil wizards! I'll just bet you can't wait to get into Slytherin with the rest of them!" Manfred said while scrambling back into his seat and forming a cross with his fingers which he held out towards Jonas, who just laughed, "Are you serious? You think I'm a Death Eater, not a vampire, you ponce," shaking his head he then looked at Mandred in all seriousness, "And no, I won't be joining Slytherin, most of that lot like to pretend to be evil, and besides, if that's what one is going for, why be obvious about it by being placed into Slytherin?" Manfred looked triumphant as he shouted, "Aha! So you admit you're evil! I've heard that all evil wizards are put into Slytherin!" Jonas rolled his eyes, "To think that they would all go into one house is ridiculous, so no, I think that I'll be in Hufflepuff, before you say anything, don't, I have it all worked out so that's where I'll be, besides I never said I was evil," as the train came to a stopp he looked at Manfred, "ah, looks like we're here."



Jonas watched as a line of students passed by the car, not standing up yet, Manfred still sitting and watching, as if he was afraid to turn his back to him, when he saw a young black haired boy with glasses pass, and he caught glimpse of a scar, "So, it is true, Harry Potter is here, I'll have to meet him at some point." he said with a grin. Manfred snuck into his pocket and pulled out a flask of water and began to splash it onto him, "I won't let you do anything to Harry Potter, everyone knows vampires and evil wizards both have a weakness to holy water!" Jonas looked at him in disbelief, "How did you even get accepted here? No matter, I know what you think, and you're wrong, just because..." he stopped as he got a splash of water in his eye and knocked the flask from Manfred's hand, "Just because I have my own agenda which may not be 'good' doesn't mean I'm trying be like You Know Who, fact is, I'm going to be more powerful than he was." Looking out the door, he seen that most the students had already left the train and moved towards the door, turning towards Manfred he seen that he had a necklace made of garlic and was trying to sneak it over his neck, "Oh for the love of...you know what? I was going to just let you be but I think it's for your own good if I don't see you again, so I'm just going to say one more thing to you." Manfred looked at him with a look of clearly false bravery on his face and spashed another bit of water into his face from his retrieved flask, "What might that be fiend?!" Wiping the water from his face Jonas looked at him and said quite simply, "Voldemort." Manfred jerked a bit before fainting again and collapsing to the floor, shaking his head Jonas hoisted him up and crammed him into the overhead compartment and locked it before leaving the train.

8/4 Assignment... late :/

Ok, sorry I forgot it was my week! Now, for those who know me, I get very obsessed when I find something that i'm passionate about.. and if you know me you'll know just how "passionate" I am about Harry Potter.

So for this weeks assignment you will create a character for Harry Potter. You can just describe the character, them getting their letter into Hogwarts, a scene of them interacting with known HP characters... whatever you want. This is pretty wide open.

Now, I'm doing this hoping all y'all have read the books, and if not at least have seen the movies and have a basic idea of that world. If you haven't done either... you don't deserve to live! You should be shot and hanged then burned! Heh. Sorry, that was my passionate side coming out. Anyway, have fun!

Embarrassing Moments: Debra

I am not an easily embarrassed person. Perhaps it's because I'm so used to making an ass of myself that I long ago stopped caring. I like to think it's because I've realized how futile and silly it is to be embarrassed. Either way coming up with some moments to share wasn't easy. However, there are two moments that stand out clearly as being painfully blush inducing.

The first moment happen in the fall of my junior year of high school. I was sitting in the drama teacher's classroom (which many of you have also spent countless hours in) getting ready for a play I was in. One of my best friends, Cynthia, was helping me with my make-up. We were surrounded by a room full of other cast and crew members, including the guy I was just starting a budding romance with. All of a sudden Cynthia bellows out, "Oh my gosh, Deb. You have SO MUCH hair on your face!!!" No, I'm not exaggerating, she bellowed it out! The entire room fell silent and everyone turned to look at us. Cynthia was totally unaware of this, but she could see the shocked look on my face and the fire in my eyes that must have told her I was about to kill her. So, what does she do? She bellows out, "I mean... it's fine! You're blonde! I'm always looking at your face and I've never even noticed! It's just that trying to put make-up on it... I mean..." I don't really remember what happened after that. I chose to remember that I calming got up and walked out of the room but I doubt that's even close to the truth.

The second embarrassing moment is entirely my best friend Heidi's fault. Heidi, Cynthia, and I were having a sleep-over one night and decided that we needed a treat. I think we decided to go through a drive-thru because I decided not to bother putting on a bra. Now, being amply chested, this is not something I would do but we weren't going in anywhere so I figured it would be fine. We got down to Heidi's car and I went to get into the front seat. I guess I sort of threw myself into the car or something because... well... my breast smacked me in the face. I don't know how it happen! I sat there, with the door open, rubbing my face. Heidi looked over and asked me what was wrong. I said in a very serious voice, "I just hit myself... in the face... WITH MY BOOB!" I was truly upset and those two just laughed and laughed!

What's shocking is that this wasn't the embarrassing part. No, the embarrassment came when Heidi told me a few days later that she had told the story to her whole entire family at dinner! I couldn't look her dad in the eye for years! Thanks, Heidi. With friends like Cynthia and Heidi I really couldn't handle any enemies!

My Embarrassing Moment

I've quite a few embarrassing moments, but I figure why not go back to one that happened when I was young, since those seems to be the ones that stay with you.

When I was six years old, my parents had an old camper, one of those ones that the top kind of lowers over the bottom half, and you had to turn a crank to get the top to rise so it'd be full size. Being my usual self I suggested to my friend that her and I go inside it and play, without raising the top, and the thing about that camper was if the top was lowered, you could open the door from the outside to get in, but opening it from the inside to get out didn't quite work.

We went in and looked around, it didn't take too long to get bored, it also didn't take long for the door to close itself and lock us inside. I'd like to say that upon finding the door shut tight that I remained calm and cool, but if that were the case I wouldn't be writing about it here, I freaked out. I started screaming and yelling and banging on the walls while my friend tried to calm me down, but that wasn't happening, I just went on screaming and pounding on the door.

Ten minutes later I stopped screaming and pounding on the door, that was when all the knowledge I'd learned from movies kicked in, and I knew what was going to happen, we were obviously going to die in there because we would run out of air. My new revelation didn't help matters of course, since then I became hysterical and started screaming at my friend that we were going to die and nobody would find us and we never even got to do any of the cool stuff like drive a car or any of the other stuff I'd heard about or seen on television. She tried to calm me down again but I wasn't having it, I was just crying and screaming at her that after ten minutes we were probably almost out of air and we should try to not breath as much as we were. Then I had the brilliant idea that I was going to punch out the window that I'd ignored til that point.

I got a few punches on the window before my friend stopped me. I wasn't happy, I was still in full panic mode so I yelled at her, asking why she stopped me, telling her we were almost out of air. I guess that fifteen minutes of my hysterical screaming, crying, and punching is all she could take, because her response was a slap right in the face. Now I never really thought that worked, "Hey someone's hysterical, let's slap them!", but apparently it works well enough, because I just stopped and kind of stared at her dumbfounded as she casually opened the window I'd been punching, then calmly shouted out of the open window that we were stuck in the camper, then within a few minutes someone came and let us out.

I'd had been embarrassed for letting the door close in the first place, but rather than take a calm approach, I just let my imagination run wild and got hysterical and just lost it. If I was claustrophobic it wouldn't be embarrassing, but I'm not, I just lost my cool and went on screaming and carrying on and had to listen to my friend tell all our friends at school how she had to slap me to calm me down and then "save my life" which was pretty bad at the time, but I guess looking back I can see the humor in it.

My Ears *STILL* Burn...

I was working at the jewelry store in the mall and I was probably 20-years-old. I had a crush on a fellow I went to church with. Tall, attractive, quiet, with that mysterious, you-know-you-want-to-get-to-know-me look about him. I had invited him over to my house , along with some other friends, for dinner and games one evening. I made from scratch everything on the menu, from the soup, to the decadent dessert. The night went rather well, although I guess he missed that it was dinner and games because he told everyone else that he had already eaten. He did, however try everything and the evening went rather well, I thought. He stayed until 1:30 in the morning for crying out loud! (and not everyone did that)

* * *

So a few weeks go by, I don't hear anything from him. I was sitting at work and it was kind of a dull evening. My co-worker asks me how things are going in the dating field and I say they are nil.

"No boys you're interested in?"

"Well, there's one, but I really don't think he's interested..." **explains the previous date**

"If he stayed that long it sure sounds like he's interested!"

Back and forth of "No, he's not." and "Yes, he is" -es.

"You should call him up to go hiking with us on Saturday. That's pretty open and not likely to be a scary thing."

"I dunno. I really hate asking guys to do something unless they're my friend already. I get all flustered and sound stupid."

"You'll be fine. Besides, it's not like it's actually a date. It's just a bunch of people going hiking."

**More deliberating...and then**

"Alright. I'll call him." I pick up the phone, dial, and wait. Palms sweating, face bright red as though I've been running in the hot sun.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is (name changed to protect the embarrassed) Jeff there?"

"Um...lemme check. Who is this?"

"Haven."

"Haven..?" pause as though he's waiting for an answer from someone else in the room. "Yeah, he's here. Hold on a sec." (slight laughter in his voice)

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jeff. This is Haven."

"Oh, hi."

"Hi. Um, some of us from the ward are going hiking on Saturday and I was wondering if you wanted to come along."

"This Saturday?"

"Yeah. We'd be leaving about 9:00 and getting back about 5:00."

"Oh...um...this Saturday? Let's see." Pause...seems like 10 minutes. ugh. "I have to work that Saturday. What time again?"

I repeated the times.

"Well, I don't think I can. No.....no...No...no...No...hmm....no...No....um No....no..." And he goes on like that for what seems like an eternity, but was probably only 30 seconds. But still, 30 seconds of "no"'s really isn't that great to listen to either.

My face was so red and I was so flushed and embarrassed that I was almost in tears. I GET THE POINT!!! ONE 'no' would have been sufficient. And then he says...

"So, how are you?"

Jaw drops and I'm speechless. It took me a few seconds for my brain to wrap around that question.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine..."

"How's work?"

"Uh...fine."
More small-talk questions that I can't remember because I was too mortified to think straight. I get off the phone as quickly as I can and go try to salvage some of my pride in the bathroom.

My little heart (and pride) was squished that night. Needless to say I didn't even look his direction after that. Not out of mean-ness, but because of my feelings of utter stupidity and shame.

Embarrassing Moment by Glass Darkly

I'm sure there have been many times in my life when I have done embarrassing things, but when I sit down to think about a time when I really felt embarrassed its always the same(and some of you know this story already I'm sure)... The first time...

I was in Kindergarten. I remember vividly a lot of my thoughts and feelings at that age. I had been reading for a couple of years before I started Kindergarten and I remember being surprised and confused that I was practically the only person in my class who already knew how to read. There was a shelf with simple reading books that we were supposed to take home, at an average of one per week, and read them with our parents. Once we'd read them satisfactorily enough our parents would sign the paper that would allow us to bring them back to get the next book.

It was not long before I was bringing home a new book everyday to get passed off, and then soon after that I was allowed to bring two at a time. I finished the stack of books that was supposed to take the entire year in about 2-3 months. I felt good about that, I felt smart. School was easy, it was fun. I liked helping my fellow students when they didn't understand something. Now, it is cloudy whether or not they appreciated my help, but as everyone was generally kind to me I'm fairly certain I was at least tactful in my aid.

Anything to do with learning or teaching I was supremely confident, but there was a flip side to that confidence. At the tender age of 5 I had somehow developed the impression that I was fat. I would wear shorts when my mom would put them out for me, but I remember feeling very uncomfortable. When the choice was left up to me, I would wear pants... even though we lived in Phoenix, AZ.

She had made me a pair of wrap around shorts, I don't know how else to describe them. As the name implies, it was a piece of fabric that you would wrap around and tie at the side and it became a pair of shorts. I was a little worried about wearing them because they were shorts, but mom had made them so I wore them. At recess one afternoon while wearing this contraption, I was climbing on the dome shaped metal jungle-gym. I can't remember what it was actually called, but I'm hoping you get the idea.

I was a friendly child and liked well enough by my classmates that there were a number of them around me at this time. My memory is hazy on just how the side of my shorts became undone, but the fact that it had is crystal clear. I remember reaching up for the next rung and moving my foot to climb my way to the top when an odd sensation of a breeze followed by the unwanted feeling of fabric against my leg caused me to look down. I panicked and almost fell off in my haste to rectify the situation.

I recall no jeering, or taunting. There is no continued teasing weeks later in my memory. The only thing I do remember is that I was mortified that Cameron and Ben just might have seen my underwear, or worse... my stomach. Or even worse... more of my leg than was visible with the shorts done up. The fabric didn't fall off, and I believe I recovered quickly enough that no one saw anything. The event wasn't as dire as it could have been, but my reaction is set indelibly in my mind.

I am certain that far worse things have happened to me, far more embarrassing situations, but none have affected me to the degree that this one has. Perhaps I have come to terms with my very fallible self and so the retarded things I do just don't get to me, I'm not sure. What I do know is, as odd as it sounds to say it, I have never been more embarrassed in my life than I was on top of that jungle-gym in Kindergarten.