Embarrassing Moment by Glass Darkly

I'm sure there have been many times in my life when I have done embarrassing things, but when I sit down to think about a time when I really felt embarrassed its always the same(and some of you know this story already I'm sure)... The first time...

I was in Kindergarten. I remember vividly a lot of my thoughts and feelings at that age. I had been reading for a couple of years before I started Kindergarten and I remember being surprised and confused that I was practically the only person in my class who already knew how to read. There was a shelf with simple reading books that we were supposed to take home, at an average of one per week, and read them with our parents. Once we'd read them satisfactorily enough our parents would sign the paper that would allow us to bring them back to get the next book.

It was not long before I was bringing home a new book everyday to get passed off, and then soon after that I was allowed to bring two at a time. I finished the stack of books that was supposed to take the entire year in about 2-3 months. I felt good about that, I felt smart. School was easy, it was fun. I liked helping my fellow students when they didn't understand something. Now, it is cloudy whether or not they appreciated my help, but as everyone was generally kind to me I'm fairly certain I was at least tactful in my aid.

Anything to do with learning or teaching I was supremely confident, but there was a flip side to that confidence. At the tender age of 5 I had somehow developed the impression that I was fat. I would wear shorts when my mom would put them out for me, but I remember feeling very uncomfortable. When the choice was left up to me, I would wear pants... even though we lived in Phoenix, AZ.

She had made me a pair of wrap around shorts, I don't know how else to describe them. As the name implies, it was a piece of fabric that you would wrap around and tie at the side and it became a pair of shorts. I was a little worried about wearing them because they were shorts, but mom had made them so I wore them. At recess one afternoon while wearing this contraption, I was climbing on the dome shaped metal jungle-gym. I can't remember what it was actually called, but I'm hoping you get the idea.

I was a friendly child and liked well enough by my classmates that there were a number of them around me at this time. My memory is hazy on just how the side of my shorts became undone, but the fact that it had is crystal clear. I remember reaching up for the next rung and moving my foot to climb my way to the top when an odd sensation of a breeze followed by the unwanted feeling of fabric against my leg caused me to look down. I panicked and almost fell off in my haste to rectify the situation.

I recall no jeering, or taunting. There is no continued teasing weeks later in my memory. The only thing I do remember is that I was mortified that Cameron and Ben just might have seen my underwear, or worse... my stomach. Or even worse... more of my leg than was visible with the shorts done up. The fabric didn't fall off, and I believe I recovered quickly enough that no one saw anything. The event wasn't as dire as it could have been, but my reaction is set indelibly in my mind.

I am certain that far worse things have happened to me, far more embarrassing situations, but none have affected me to the degree that this one has. Perhaps I have come to terms with my very fallible self and so the retarded things I do just don't get to me, I'm not sure. What I do know is, as odd as it sounds to say it, I have never been more embarrassed in my life than I was on top of that jungle-gym in Kindergarten.